Houston Cougars head coach Tom Herman will reportedly become the new head coach of the Miami Sharks of the AFFA after Houston’s conference championship game against Temple this Saturday, December 5th.
The Sharks are reportedly looking to fire longtime head coach Tony D’Amato who seems well past his prime and has been known more lately for random outbursts than the string of successes he had in the seventies and eighties. Sharks owner Christina Pagniacci, who recently inherited the team, has been long rumored to want a young, up-and-coming head coach to guide the team into the future.
Houston’s Tom Herman seems to be a perfect fit for the Sharks’ need of a “quarterback guru” to mentor the Sharks’ young, hot-headed quarterback Willie Beamen. Beamen was the Sharks third-string quarterback and recently took over the starting qb slot when starter Cap Rooney and backup Tyler Cherubini both went down with season ending injuries.
Herman had a strong level of success with mentoring J. T. Barrett, Braxton Miller, and Cardale Jones while at Ohio State and Greg Ward, Jr. and Kyle Postma this season at Houston. Herman looks to bring his reputation of a “quarterback whisperer” to Miami to hopefully have the same level of success with Beamen and looks to guide the Sharks to the Pantheon Cup in the near future.
[Note: In case any Rice fans are reading this article and it isn’t completely obvious, this is another poor attempt at satire. There’s rumors floating out there on the internet every day about Tom Herman and unless the Houston Chronicle’s Joseph Duarte is writing about it or it’s posted on CardiacCoogs, it’s probably bullshit.]